I woke up this morning with a stomach ache. That’s my tradition. My stomach hurts a lot, and I never know if it’s from stress, something I ate, or a sexy combination. One time we went to a steakhouse for my grandma’s birthday and she ate steak, lobster tail, creamed spinach, a side salad, potatoes, wine, and dessert. On the way home she complained of a stomach ache, and said it was probably from all the lettuce. She was my idol.

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