You say tomato, I say tomato
To all the tomatoes I've loved before
Well folks, it’s October 1st and there’s a harvest moon, which means one thing: summer is over. To me, summer is defined by tomatoes. Every year I wait 10 months for those 2 months of perfect, juicy, sweet summer tomatoes. Good tomatoes are like good men; you have to wait for them to be ready for you, and you’ll go through a lot of mediocre ones before you find the right one. So I’ve compiled a list of tomatoes, the good and the less good, to try and make sense of all the boys I’ve loved before.
Trader Joe’s cowboy caviar salsa- This man has a kick! He is a division III soccer player and won’t stop talking about it. He watches videos of his highlight reels from high school and has an 8 pack. He’s not just tomatoes, he’s also corn and beans and peppers. He is a student and an athlete.
Grape tomatoes in that little plastic box from Whole Foods- They look nice on the outside, and they are definitely “nice”, but they aren’t that sweet or flavorful when you bite into them. They are deceiving! Looks can be deceiving. They make you think you’re special because you ended up in a Whole Foods to find them, but it’s all a facade.
Rao’s marinara sauce- This man works for J.P. Morgan and doesn’t know how to do his own laundry. He thinks it’s “exotic” that you live in Bushwick and he can never seem to find a condom. He didn’t get into Cornell because he was a legacy, he got in because of his essay about overcoming the obstacle of being the only jew on his travel lacrosse team
Baja fresh pico de gallo- You’ve known this man since preschool. You practically grew up together! You’ve had carpools, you’ve had school dances, and your parents are friends. He’s familiar, but not in a boring way, in a comfortable one. You may have to drive down Rockville Pike to get to him, but he’ll pay for gas. A class act!
Heinz ketchup- This is a fuckboy
“Sir Kensington’s” ketchup-A fuckboy who has one fingernail painted black so you think he’s sensitive and won’t hurt your feelings (he will)
Sun Dried tomatoes packed in olive oil and herbs- This man is classy and sexy. You met in a bar when you were studying abroad and he told you he likes your unique nose. You dance the night away and then he lights a cigarette outside. You don’t want to kiss him after that because you don’t like cigarettes. He’s uncircumcised but you don’t know that because again, you never even kissed and you left the bar with your friends to get burgers and go home.
Heirloom tomatoes- This one is special. They don’t come around often at all, but when they do, you can’t get enough of them. They are sweet and complex, and bright and savory. Sometimes they leave for 10 months and you miss them. But your mom approves of them, and they photograph well.