In my ever present quest to be famous, my favorite sandwich shop followed me on twitter this week. It’s called Court Street Grocers and it was the only thing that got me through my brief stint in sales. In my quest to be mysterious, today I found one single grey hair and promptly plucked it from my head. I did a quick google search that said I’m either stressed or vitamin B12 deficient. I am feeling particularly stressed right now and I don’t eat enough meat so this checks out.
After I found the grey hair I decided to turn my life around. By this I mean I got sausage in my thai food tonight. You know, for the vitamins. I’ve been feeling really scattered lately. I’m having a hard time focusing on anything for great lengths because I was raised on Vine. And so, today I’m feeling like leaning into that. Embracing the scatter. Welcome to this week’s edition of Pillow Town- the throw pillow. Without any more of an introduction here are some random things I’ve observed recently in no particular order.
I think it’s weird that we all need to Google where we know that actor from when we watch a movie. You’re watching them do what they’re doing now, is this not enough?
I think it’s dumb when people honk if they’re more than one car behind the first car at a stop light. Accept the things you cannot change!
The movie Sky High implies that people can be split into two groups, heroes and sidekicks. I think society can be divided into people who eat Oreos in one chomp vs. those who deconstruct.
Aioli is mayonnaise with an agent. Aioli is mayonnaise in a funky hat. Aioli is what happens when mayonnaise takes a master class on screenwriting with Aaron Sorkin.
Maybe a service that allows you to get q tips, Spanish paprika, leggings, and a signed copy of Bossypants by Tiny Fey delivered in the same box in 24 hours is actually not a good thing.
If Bernie Sanders was President we would have the first Oval Office mini fridge with Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry and an expired jar of deli mustard.
I identify more with the witch in Snow White than Snow White. I’m always handing my friends food.
The US government is removing a congresswoman from a committee because she said that wildfires are caused by Jewish space lasers. But they’re not removing her from congress. I think that’s awesome and makes sense.
If Jews control the media then why hasn’t there been a Disney princess with IBS?