Earlier this week I had the intrusive thought to apply to Danish film school. In order to combat this unproductive and unlikely thought spiral, I started reminiscing. I want to be a writer, some days more than others, and I went back to thinking about the stories that first piqued my interest as a young, impressionable mind. The books that laid the groundwork in my creative mind and inspired me to one day write stories of my own.
My favorite book as a child was Everyone Poops. If you don’t know, this is basically a children’s book created to make kids feel confident about pooping in the toilet. It strived to break down anti-poop sentiments and encourage young ones that everyone poops, so you should too. It showed vivid illustrations of different animals and how they poop and what it looks like, it explained that some animals poop while standing still and some “poop on the move.” Pooping on the move is also what happened to me on a train in Peru but I’m not here to talk about that. Or really about poop at all.
Today is about letting it all out. Letting it hang loose. Release. It’s time we stop holding back what we’re thinking and feeling and start setting it free. Because, everyone poops. Earlier in my life I thought I was lactose intolerant. It turned out I was just anxious and stressed and sleep deprived and that was affecting my gut microbiome. More on that subject another time, but the point is, I’ve spent a lot of time assessing my poop, literally and figuratively, to figure out what’s really wrong or not wrong with me. What you put out is usually a good indicator of what’s inside you. Based on his output, I think Joe Rogan is full of wet sand and gummy worms.
I’ve had countless phone calls and zoom calls and facetimes with friends who are upset because they want to tell someone something but they don’t know how. They don’t want to come off too strong or be perceived as too sensitive or overbearing. I’ve felt this way before, I’m not immune to it. There’s safety and comfort in keeping things to yourself and going for a run. I’ve never done that but it sounds nice.
That deep nagging thought you have that you want to get off your chest to your best friend? Say it! They might feel the same way too. It’s the same concept as in school- if you have a question, someone else probably is curious about a similar thing. Unless you’re in my senior year college(?) physics class where nobody was curious about a fucking thing. One guy snorted a line of adderal off his desk behind me and I spent the period writing sketch comedy about soccer moms.
Communication is part of life and everyone does it. We need to talk about the things we all do anyway. The plot of every single Modern Family episode is that people didn’t communicate and, chaos ensues. Every time in a romcom when they guy shows up at the airport but she’s not there because she already went back to Sante Fe to be with you Jeremy where ARE you Jeremy?? COMMUNICATE. I am so tired of seeing people running through airports. Text them! If you plan on spending the rest of your life with a person you don’t have to run past the moving walkway. It’s unnerving.
Sometimes communication is messy and sometimes it’s straightforward. Sometimes it takes a long time to process through something and sometimes the words just come out unexpectedly. But don’t force it. If the timing isn’t right, wait until it is. If you aren’t in a comfortable place to adequately ask for what you want or need, or express yourself fully, hold off until you feel right. Give yourself space, time, and a scented candle to work through what you need to work through.
Every war in all of history was either fought over miscommunication or oil. And I don’t know much about oil so I can’t weigh in on that, but I do believe in the power of transparent conversation. If Hitler had just talked to a nice Bubbe and had a sip of warming, homemade chicken broth, he maybe wouldn’t have wanted to annihilate us as a people.
Folks, talk to me. Talk to your friends. Talk to the person on either side of you and wish them a blessed new year. Tell your mom you really don’t like her chicken meatballs because if you pretend to like them, you’ll have to keep eating them. Because whatever you have to say, it’s better out than in.