I’m getting my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine today, and since I’m not an immunologist, I don’t know what’s in it. The last time I took a shot and didn’t know what was in it was at a college pregame. It was probably just peach new Amsterdam vodka and warm crystal lite. Both shots were given to me by people I trust so the moral of this story is, take shots in life, safely.
Greetings loyal patrons of the arts, I’m back with another Shabbat edition of my newsletter. As I’ve said before, if any of you want to set me up at a publishing house and subsidize me, I can make these go out on a stricter deadline. Until then, I write when I am so moved. And sometimes I am so not moved. Today I want to talk about sitting still.
Let me caveat here. And you have to let me because this is a monologue. Before March 2020, I tried to fill every second of every day. Living in New York City, I felt obligated to make strategic use of all my time outside of work. The culture! The restaurants! My friend’s neighbor’s cousin’s basement spoken word ska band show! I was getting coffee and drinks with people to catch up, going to bars and shows and house parties and fashion shows, getting kicked out of and then let back into fashion shows, and a handful of bottomless brunches. Here’s my take on bottomless brunch- if I’m going to be drunk with my friends eating eggs I’d rather be in my own home so I can unbutton my pants.
Anyway, I’ve been slowly starting to realize that just because I have free time doesn’t mean that’s time to be filled. If I have no plans on a Saturday, I can stay home and read and do a face mask. My take on face masks- they don’t do anything long term for your skin but they make you sit still for 15-20 minutes and that does a lot long term for your mind.
It’s easy to think that just because you can, you should. I’ve spent a lot of nights feeling guilty about ordering takeout because I “can” cook. But on nights where I get home from work at 8:30 and I’m tired, ordering food gives me much more time to myself to relax. Plus I’m supporting the local economy so I’m actually a brave hero every time I order tacos at 9pm.
When is the last time you did something for yourself? And I don’t mean like, basic human needs or bodily hygiene. I mean intentionally doing something that is beneficial for you, and may make you forego social plans or obligations. I’m late to the self care movement. I’ve spent a lot more time on team self hate and it has exhausted me. Please start buying only stretchy pants. Life is too short and delicate to squeeze yourself into tight pants. You are not in cirque du sole ol or the NFL. Breathe.
I sometimes feel like this turning into an advice column and I think I may like that. I love giving and not taking advice, it is my favorite hobby. I give a lot of people advice all the time because I love to deal with problems that aren’t my own. And I love to talk. You don’t have to take any of my advice but sometimes when I write stuff like this down it’s easier for me to digest it myself. I wish there was a way I could write stuff down that’s just my own thoughts for me. Too bad that doesn’t exist.
I will leave you with this- do things that feel good to you, because extended goodness isn’t guaranteed. We know this from the last year and we’ll know it in the future. And listen to my advice but also you don’t have to. Stay vigilant, pillowtourists, you can’t believe everything you read on the internet. Unless it comes from a forwarded chain email from Emily in 3rd grade. Then you must follow all instructions so the night watcher doesn’t haunt your family.
Love,
Rachel