The other day I was passing by an elementary school graduation, outside on a blacktop. When I was approaching they were moving on to the participation trophy portion of the event, and they were announcing the perfect attendance award. I never got this one when I was a kid. I missed school when my sister was born, when I had swine flu, when I had a “walking pneumonia” and when I took a mental health day. I took those a lot. It’s actually remarkable to have perfect attendance, to anything. And that’s why I think we should be rewarded for it as adults.
It’s been said that half of the battle is just showing up. I think it should be the whole battle. If wars were up to me, I would not have wars. I think land disputes and religious conflict would be better settled by 3 rounds of obscure Jeopardy trivia. But if war continues, I think the side that hangs out the longest should win. No guns, no weapons of any kind, just a sort of hand-on-the-van patience test. I’ve recently been trying to meditate and the whole point of it for me is just sitting still and not having anywhere to be for 15 minutes. Just participating in the act of focusing.
The last time I got a participation trophy was in 4th grade. I joined the dive team but was too afraid to dive off the board (still am) so I could only compete in the front jump and back jump categories. For those unfamiliar with the technical jargon of competitive diving, a front jump is when you jump forwards off the diving board into the pool, and a back jump is when you do that but you’re facing the other way. I got as close to the minimum score as you could get for just jumping off.
And I stand by that. We should all be applauded more for just being there. I could have been doing a million other things but on that balmy Saturday in June of 2007, I was at the neighborhood pool making a fool of myself. In a blue tie-dye one piece and a swim cap.
We should praise ourselves and others for the bare minimum more often. You showed up, and that’s a feat in and of itself. I went to 2 open mics this week. At the first one I did really well- people were laughing, I felt amazing, it reminded me how much I love being on a stage holding a microphone. The next night I did the same set at another mic and it did not go as well. I started to feel badly but then I remembered, it’s good that I went instead of staying home. It’s good that I stood up there and felt, palpably, the deafening silence of a joke that doesn’t land. I couldn’t have felt that pang of despair from the comfort of my couch and for that lesson, I am grateful.
When you go on a run and you’re not feeling fast enough, or you cook a meal that doesn’t turn out exactly as you wanted, remember that you did it in the first place, and that’s plenty. You got up and moved your body. You sautéed those greens that were wilting in the fridge so they didn’t go to waste. Your run time and cooking skills can improve, and it’s even okay if they don’t. As long as you’re trying. As this newsletter has evolved, I’ve had to focus less on quality and more on just completing it, week after week. I’m not a brilliant person (yet) and I can’t blow your mind every 7 days. So today is just me showing up. Participating. I could have done other things but I’m here instead, making insightful commentary on human existence, and remaining humble all the while.