Last week I went to my first rodeo. It was in Granite County, Montana, in the town of Drummond. The population of Drummond was 272 in the 2020 census and 286 as of 2022. I’d like to think the 14 newcomers landed there as a result of seeing this annual rodeo and falling in love and staying put. Or maybe there was a bachelorette trip gone awry. Anyway.
I was there on vacation and every time I go anywhere I say, usually out loud, I could live here. Except I don’t think I could live in Montana because they don’t have Cava.
A rodeo has many events. There’s Bareback Riding, Steer Wrestling, Tie-Down Roping, Saddle Bronc Riding, Team Roping, Barrel Racing (this one they let the girls do), Steer Roping, and Bull Riding. When I arrived in Drummond, Montana last week for the 83rd annual rodeo, I thought it was just the bull stuff. But that’s why they wrote that phrase about your first rodeo. This city girl had no clue.
Bull Riding gets all the spotlight. She gets all the movie scenes, there’s an electronic version in honky tonk dive bars, and it was the only event I knew about. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The toe of the cowboy boot.
I was shocked. The pageantry. The theater. The commercial breaks. I’m going to start with those because that’s what I do now. For those unfamiliar, a commercial break at a rodeo is where a lovely lady on a horse holds up a flag that says something like “Granite County Chevy Dealership” and she and her horse gallop (trot? canter?) across the front of the arena towards the crowd. I think all advertising should go back to this. I want to be immersed.
Each cowboy had a trailer with seemingly three things: his horse, his hat, and his steamed and starched cowboy shirt. These cowboys come from all over the country to compete in a crazy game of “the floor is lava.” They have to stay on their bucking animal for at least 8 seconds, that’s how long it takes to count as a successful ride. Insert some line about your boyfriend blah blah. After that, soon after that, they usually fall off. This is where I got upset and mumbled something about CTE and then went back to eating my hotdog.
After the cowboy falls off is my favorite part. He gets up and dusts off his trousers and heads out of the arena. Then, the remaining and partially traumatized horse or bull or bronc will run around the arena while other assistant cowboys (fact check me on this) try to lasso them to corral them back off the stage. These horses, or sometimes huge fucking bulls, run around and are very hard to catch. The audience just has to wait until they leave. It’s a classic case of, the show can’t go on. So while we waited for the bull to leave, we usually discussed who was gonna get up next to get another hotdog.
Some cowboys travel across the country to get on a horse for 2 seconds and fall off. There’s a metaphor here somewhere. But whoever wrote the phrase “get back on the horse” clearly has never been to a rodeo. You’re very much not allowed to do that.
This is where you get to witness the most introspective part of the show, where a cowboy squats down in defeat and holds his hat in his hands. Cowboys can be sad too. This was grounding for me.
The event I hated the most was tie-down roping. This is where a calf starts running and a cowboy (on a horse) chases after it and jumps off the horse to tie a rope around the calf’s legs so it can’t move. You get more points the faster you do it, and you lose if the calf wriggles free of his ties. I was cheering for the calves. The amount of beef products I consumed last week was not lost on me.
The cowgirl event, barrel racing, was fun to watch. Mostly because what it was in reality and what I predicted it to be based on the name could not have been farther apart. They opened the gates to the arena and in trotted a 2024 Chevy Silverado, right off the lot. In the back of the track were 3 barrels. These barrels were then evenly spaced around the arena so that the cowgirls could race their horses around them. This was not an ad for the 2024 Chevy Silverado I swear. (I thought barrel racing was where you had to roll the barrels the fastest. This was my first rodeo.)
Every moment of my first rodeo was a surprise. Besides the national anthem.
It’s not often that I’m in a situation where I have no clue what just happened, what is happening, and what’s about to happen. I’ve lived in New York for 5 years and I’m not easily shocked. My first rodeo bucked me off my horse and had me googling “calf in rodeo are they hurt” and “cowboy salary.”
I went on vacation in Montana for a week and touched grass, dirt, a lake, a river, a schnauzer-poodle mix, and more dirt. I watched the sun set at 10pm and I ate so, so many hotdogs. It healed me and we’ll never know if it was because I was on vacation or because I belong out west.
It was my first rodeo. It was nothing like I thought it would be, and that’s why I went with friends who had been before. Also because they had the car. Next time, I’ll close my eyes at the scary parts. And I’m bringing my own spicy mustard.